SPURIOUSMONKEY

The university of life

A studies on the migratory habits of scientists

We are well aware that these studies are still in there preliminary phase, but the conclusions that we have reached are of immeasurable value to our society. Therefore we felt that we have the moral obligation to publish these revelations at this early stage. Since these studies are about scientists it is of utmost importance to use unbiased and objective data. We therefore did not study the scientists directly, since they are well acquainted with the scientific method and are therefore quite capable of interfering with it. Instead, we turned our attention to the social and economic problem of the global warming caused by the green house effect.

The earth is getting warmer and all scientists without exception blame the green house gasses. Except of course the scientists at the University of Life (we do not except anything as the truth). We grabbed this discrepancy in opinion as a sign of a deeper hidden problem. To our amazement all data uncovered concerning global warming led us back to the original problem of the migratory habits of scientists.

Our own studies had shown that there is another cause of global warming. We would like to point out that the world population has been steadily growing since human history began. A side effect of this is the increase in urban areas compared to rural areas. Anyone who has ever bicycled from a rural area into an urban area has noticed that it is always warmer inside the urban area. This does not depend on the season or time of the day. During winter times the excess heating of the urban housing can easily explain this interesting phenomena of warm cities, and could therefore be seen as an indirect effect of burning green house fuels. Although this heating is not caused by green house gasses themselves, but by excess heat escaping the clutches of mankind.

In the summer the heating is caused by the excess amounts of concrete, tarmac etc in a city. All these materials heat up easily in sun and reflect heat, and when the sun sets they release the heat that they stored during the day. In fact the urban area can be compared with a stony desert. In conclusion, the increase in urbanization has caused an overall increase in the buildup of heat. We would like to call this phenomenon the global urban desert warming effect (GUDWE).

It is a mystery why normal scientists haven’t noticed the GUDWE before, unless of course they never bicycle from a rural area into an urban area or vice versa. We would therefore like to propose that scientists seldom or never bicycle from a rural area into an urban area or vice versa. And when they do follow this particular migratory trajectory they probably use a means of transport that is enclosed such as a car, bus or train and therefore are oblivious to the obvious.

Spuriousmonkey

Professor at the UOL

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