SPURIOUSMONKEY

The university of life

What has Science ever done for Society?

Here at the University of Life we realize that this is a very negative approach to science. It questions the obvious historical value of science (sliced bread, the wheel, nuclear bombs). However, instead of looking back we like to look forward into the future. What can science still do for us? Let us not now shout the obvious such as let science cure all cancer in 10 years time. That has been done often enough in the last 30 years.

We like to focus our scientific efforts to improve the life of social groups in our injust society who suffer on a daily basis. We are specifically talking about mothers of course. Science has done little to improve the life of mothers other than the invention of the disposable diaper. That innovation came on the market decades ago and nothing has been done for the mother since.

However, here at the University of Life we made a brakethrough in technology. We did this by closely examining everyday problems of the young mother and scientifically retrodesign spectacular solutions.

The diaper was a great leap forward, but a soiled diaper still had some of the same drawbacks that a non-disposable diaper has: it stinks! Mothers still have to deal with the aromatic consequences of the intestinal processing of food particles. These odours do not seem to bother the child very much, but they do bother the maternal (or even paternal nowadays) parental´s desire to change the diaper and to apply hygienic measures.

Here at the University of Life we developed a pill that makes baby poo smell like delicious chocolate cake. No longer will the baby see frowning faces of disgust when in need of a diaper change. Instead both parental units will compete with each other to be the one to do the honours, making the entire event a positive one for all members of the family unit. The only question that remains is; will they be able to resist?

Our next social problem that we will tackle is of an even greater social importance. We will try to make men remember to put the toiletseat up.

Spuriousmonkey

Professor at the UOL

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