SPURIOUSMONKEY

The university of life

There is still hope for nerds, geeks and dorks

It is difficult for nerds, geeks and dorks (NGD) to get laid in the best of times. Unfortunately they have to compete with macho jerkoffs for the interests of the ladies. Obviously NGDs cannot win this battle.

Therefore they turned their attention to Science. Since Science is constantly outsmarted by nature the NGD scientists took a close look at how Nature solved the problems of NGDs getting laid.

In communities of the cichlid fish Astatotilapia burtoni the macho gets the ladies and the meek just sit and watch (if they are lucky). However when the macho is removed from the community the meek loser fish quickly is transformed into macho himself. And finally he can have sex.

Researchers studied the brain and noticed that a meek fish quickly upregulates the gene egr-1 in the brain. This leads to his transformation into a succesful macho.

Rumours have it that a drug is in the making that can raise egr-1 levels in the brains of nerds, geeks and dorks.

We congratulate the NGDs with there initiative but would like to remind them that the easiest solution would be to remove the Machos out of their local community and let mother nature do what it does best. Top scientists around the globe predict that local NGDs will raise their egr-1 after removal of macho types, turning them into attractive machos. And top scientists have never been wrong. Allegedly.

Source (unfortunately the journal Science has changed its formatting over time and the link doesn't work any more)

Spuriousmonkey

Professor at the UOL

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