SPURIOUSMONKEY

The university of life

Scientist predict immenent takeover of the world by crocodiles!

Recently scientists discovered why crocodiles stopped evolving. Apparently it is not because they are perfect apex predators but because it got colder. During the age of Dinosaurs, there were a lot more crocodile species because it was warmer, and that allowed the cold-blooded animal to try out more evolutionary paths and body plans. It is unclear to some why we label this period the age of Dinosaurs, because clearly it was the age of Dinosaurs AND crocodiles.

Sources in the scientific community claim that this may very well be an example of blatant microagression in the scientic community towards crocodiles. SOme other repressed sources call it one of the severest cases of speciesism they have seen in the long time.

It may come to the surprise of nobody that global warming is a major threat to our human society, due to changing weather pattern changes and the sea-level rising.

Now scientists warn that global warming will have even more severe consequences: Crocodiles will start to speciate once again and speed up their evolution. The rise of sea levels will make more areas accessible to this semi-aquatic animal, areas that were previous off limit.

In short, the crocodiles will take over once again because of global warming, and many fear that the end of the human era has arrived.

Scientists have pinpointed a geographical location to the imminent hostile takeover of crocodiles: Florida.

A crocodile spokesperson says that it is irresponsible for scientists to spread such alarming ideas, and that we can all live peacefully together in the future.

But it may be the case that we will have to hand over Florida to the crocodilian League.

Spuriousmonkey

Professor at the UOL

Go back