SPURIOUSMONKEY

The university of life

Tyrannosaur hatchlings were as big as medium-sized dog and controversy erupts about this measurement in divided scientific community!

Recently scientists discovered by examining tiny fossilized bones that the Tyrannosaur babies when hatched were 90 centimeters long. And this is apparently equal to a medium-sized dog.

After this exciting news were became more interested in this new way to scientifically measure the size of animals: The medium-sized dog unit. After inquiries we discovered that this unit was originally used by scientists to describe the size of a medium-sized dog. And the unit used in this fashion tended to be acceptable for its purpose.

However, soon scientists started to use this unit of measurement also to classify the size of other animals besides dogs. And here the unit started to show its weakness. Even within medium-sized dogs the measurements can vary a lot.

For instance, both the Airedale terrier and the Australian Cattle Dog are both considered to be medium-sized dogs. While the terrier stands 58 cm tall and weighs 22 and 31 kg, the Australian cattle dog only is 48 cm tall and weighs between 13-22 kg. Clearly they are not exactly the same size.

The baby Tyrannosaur was 90 cm long after hatching. Unfortunately no official national dog kennel association measures dogs in length, not even the Belgian one.

It is rumoured that the spokesperson for the International Association of Scientific Units said off the record that this medium-sized dog unit is a real debacle, and possibly the worst crisis in science since the discovery of the plastic drinking straw.

Here at the University of Life we therefore propose a new unit of measurement to replace the medium-sized dog, and that is the Tyrannosaur hatchling, which is exactly 90 cm.

Spuriousmonkey

Professor at the UOL

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