SPURIOUSMONKEY

The university of life

Smallest reptile in the world may bring covid-19 relief!

Desperate scientists found what may be the smallest reptile on our planet. The animal is only 3 cm long, or 30 mm if you think 3 is a too small number. It is a miniscule chameleon in Madagascar: Madagascar the island nation, not the animated movie.

This find brought to the surface again a long-standing controversy in the smallest animal science community. Belgian researchers claimed they found the smallest reptile in 1988 and have had it on display at the entrance of their university building. Smallest animal researchers flocked to the site in the late 80s but none could see this animal. Not because they were barred from seeing the display case, they simply couldn't see anything in the display case. The Belgian smallest animal research group accused the other researchers of displaying aggravated micro-aggression towards their claims to have found the smallest reptile.

Until this day the Belgian group stands firmly behind their claim that they have the smallest reptile in their lobby.

Sources say that the smallest animal scientific community is divided because of the unavoidable internal frustration that is present in these groups. Originally all smallest animal research groups were actually the world's largest animal research groups. But in the 1970s it became obvious that the largest animal had been found and nothing was going to beat it, except perhaps some fossil find. But most researchers hate digging in dirt, because the reason they went to university in the first place was to not to have to do any physical labour. So they switched their focus to finding the word's largest animal to the smallest animal.

This created a loss of prestige and funding for the former largest animal researchers. People want to see huge animals, not strain their eyes to see something tiny.

Accordingly, zoos all across the globe responded in desperation to the find. "How are we going to display this?", was a common off the record reaction. Zoos are not doing so well lately.

The find of the world's smallest lizard further exacerbated the worsening of the financial situation of the zoos, which were already negatively affected by the Covid-19 crisis, which forced many zoos to temporarily close down, reduce the number of visitors, and feed herbivores to the lions.

Elon Musk may or may not have said that this find signals the birth of the new zoo, where all the world's smallest animals are to be collected in a tiny display case and this display case will be moved from home to home through an underground tunnel system. Each family can visit the zoo in the comfort of their own home. And when they are done admiring the animals, they simply send the zoo forward to the next home. An algorithm will determine the most optimal distribution of the micro-zoo.

Others claim that Elon Musk definitely didn't say that, and they came up with the idea of a micro-zoo first.

Here at the University of Life we believe that ideas should be free and inventions that further the greatness of societal development should remain patent free. And the tiny zoo might be the thing that will make it bearable to live through a Covid lockdown.

Spuriousmonkey

Professor at the UOL

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